It’s 1997 as I am pulling up to the movies, thinking about purchasing a ticket for a movie everyone is talking about.  It’s an artsy, black romantic movie with a banging soundtrack, featuring a woman I had been crushing on since “Boyz-N-The Hood”.  I’m a little apprehensive because if I go see this movie I am going to see it ALONE.

I know sad, that I would go see a love story alone.  My girlfriend and I were supposed to go see it but we broke up before we could go. I could have waited until it came out on VHS in Blockbuster to watch it at home or I could go see it alone and feel like I was overcoming the heartbreak by still living my life.

I made the decision to go and as I am purchasing my ticket, there are A LOT of people standing around for some reason.  So I ask the girl can I get one for “Love Jones” and this little ghetto buddy says as loud as she could, “You want one for Love Jones?” Trying not to cuss her out for being so loud, I confirm in the voice of a whisper, “Yes, one for Love Jones.”

Feeling like the whole line at this point was watching me, laughing at me and feeling sorry for me, I took my ticket and found a place in the dark theater a way from everyone so me sitting alone wouldn’t be noticed.

For the next hour and forty nine minutes I watched an honest depiction of Black Love.  How Darius saw Nina one night and never forgot how she made him feel.  Saw her again and wouldn’t let up until he got at least one date. The chase the pursuit, the I like him, I like her too much moments, they showed it all. 

The honesty of the courtship isn’t something reserved for black love, it was the I’m feeling you, I like you and I might love you but I can’t really tell you. Why can’t either Darius or Nina be honest? Why can’t they profess their love and be done with it? Well first of all the movie then might have been forty five minutes. They can’t keep it real with each other because they are not only carrying around relationship trauma, they are also carrying the trauma of pursuing excellence in a world that doesn’t look like them.

Black Love can be hard to attain and find, because we have a tendency to compare who has it worse in the world and if not validated each person doesn’t find a safe place in the relationship. Don’t feel seen and lash out against the one they once were feeling professing endearing sentiments to.

Malcom X says, “The most disrespected person in America, is the black woman. The most un-protected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America, is the black woman.”  Black women still feel this today as a double minority and not that they need saving it would be nice for their plight and journey to be acknowledged especially in a romantic relationship.

While the black man feels whether educated or not he’s a threat and to get along in the mainstream has to find a way to make the white man feel as if he’s not coming after his position or women and that’s too is exhausting.

What “Love Jones” showed in 1997 in this artistic masterpiece of Black Love that it is hard. It’s hard because most times what you’re dealing with isn’t the love it’s the everything else.  We are comparing who has it worse instead of saying the best place to be is with each other because we have each other. A place where I respect you and a place where I will do anything to protect you. 

Black Love is possible and still is complicated all these years later. Not because the individuals don’t want love.  They actual need love to fight off the day and refresh their perspective to go out and do it again.  When my hurt clouds my perspective, it shuts out my love. 

But when we figure out, my traumas can’t hold me at night and being right is the cold side of the bed, simplify the complex and allow for the love for each other to be all that matters…get to that point and find the beginning of beautiful Black Love. As a Black culture clothing brand, we do more than just sell a Black excellence shirt or a Black culture hoodie... we celebrate Black Love!